Here’s the Problem: You care way too much

Photo by: Nico Markschat | Styled by me | Model: Rita Fraccalvieri.

Growing up, I never felt like the most attractive person in the room. I cared way too much about what other people thought of me. If they said one negative thing, I was self-conscious about it for ages. I’d try to change whatever part of me they commented on just so I could appear more attractive.

I invested in makeup and changed my style and hair numerous times. The problem wasn’t that I wanted to look good. The problem was I wanted everyone else to think I looked good. I didn’t want a single negative comment because if I got it, I’d let my insecurities take over and I’d shut down.

I didn’t know who I was.

I cared way too much - and so do you.

You gawk over fashion influencers on Instagram or Tiktok and people’s outfits you see on the streets - yet you don’t take the necessary steps to stop wearing the same t-shirt and jeans every day. You just consume.

You complain and complain about your sad excuse of an outfit, but don’t do anything about it. You think “I wish I had confidence like hers” on a daily basis, but you tear yourself down every chance you get - you stay trapped in that shitty mindset and lose yourself bit by bit.

I get it - the mind is a powerful thing. And maybe you’re afraid that people will think you’re doing too much, so you keep yourself in a box by “keeping it simple”. Maybe it’s simply because your confidence sucks.

Whatever it is, not only are you suffering because of it, but so is your style.

If you continue to let your fear paralyze you and you continue to compare yourself to other people, you’ll never get where you want to go. You’ll be miserable for the rest of your life.

So how did I get out of this draining behavior? How did I stop caring and allow my confidence to increase? I went on vacation and journaled. A lot. And eventually I stopped caring.

Sometimes I still have these moments - where I care way too much about someone else’s opinion. It’s times like these where I remind myself who I am and whose I am. I remind myself of my goals, talents, and the value that I offer to other people’s lives.

And that value I’m adding is my new program, Stylish Badass.

What I went through in that journal is exactly what I teach women to do here. In week 3 of the 10-week 1:1 program, I have you fill out a series of self-discovery questions. You then complete that week’s challenge and apply it to your life on a weekly basis. I created this exercise because you simply can’t dress according to who you are when you don’t even know who you are yourself. 

So, what’re you going to do? Are you going to continue caring way too much about others opinions - which keeps you trapped, self-conscious, and mediocre? Or are you going to say f*ck it and let your confidence shine in that badass dress because you know who you are?

I choose the latter.